A Thousand Times Goodnight

[leblagueur]

(PSL with killtosavealife)


This was not how Remy had thought he would be spending his wedding night. Only a few hours ago he had been happy, albeit a bit terrified of his life to come, and now he felt like he had lost everything. He understood the Guilds’ decision, but that didn’t mean he agreed with it; that didn’t make it hurt any less. Julien had attack him, it was kill or be killed, but now he had to leave his home, his family and his new bride to prevent a war. It wasn’t fair.

Stashing his dufflebag in a row of bushes by the road, he snuck silently and swiftly across the lawn, only stopping once he had his back to the outer wall of the house. Taking a few deep breaths he listened intently, and only once he’d determined that the coast was clear did he start to scale the wall.

He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be doing this. He should have obeyed Jean-Luc and just caught the first train out of town, but on his way to the station his feet had developed a mind of their own, bringing him here instead. He shouldn’t be here, not now, not ever again... but he had to talk to her, had to see her, one last time.

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[killtosavealife.livejournal.com]

This was not how Bella had wanted to spend her wedding night.

If there was one thing she was sure of it was that she loved him. Not just in a sense that made their arranged marriage easier to go through, but because he was her everything, and had been since they were so much younger than they were right then.

Now, she mourned. Not for her brother, not for any sort of politics between the two Guilds, but because her heart was now broken beyond any repair. Remy had been forced to leave, and there was no way to change that. He was gone.

She had lost forever that day.

Bella sat in her wedding dress on a bench in the garden of her father's estate holding her bouquet. It wasn't as lovely as it had been a few hours before and now with the slightest movement the petals that barely hung on broke and fell to her feet as she cried softly.

It was not supposed to end like this.

[leblagueur.livejournal.com]

Reaching Belle’s balcony, Remy swung over the railing, keeping low, and found himself disappointed to discover her room in darkness. “Belle?” he whispered loudly, tapping gently on the glass door, but there was no answer. Sinking down, his back against the railing, he folded his arms over his knees and buried his head in them. So that was it, then. He couldn’t go searching for her in the rest of the house, and the longer he lingered here, waiting, the more dangerous it became. He just had to face it: it was time to leave, goodbye or no.

That was when he heard it, a sound so soft he wasn’t sure it was real at first. Hearing her crying made his heart leap and sink at the same time.

Checking his surroundings, the nimble thief vaulted over the railing and landed softly in the grass below, rolling easily to cushion the fall. He kept to the shadows, following the sound until he spotted her among the trees and flowers. Her white dress and golden hair seemed to glow in the moonlight, and Remy felt his breath hitch. It was the saddest and most beautiful image he had ever seen in his life.

There was no point trying to sneak up on her; he may have been an excellent thief but she was an assassin, so as with many other things they were perfectly matched. With a heavy heart, he stepped out of the shadows and made his way slowly toward her.

[killtosavealife.livejournal.com]

The moment he moved, she'd picked up the sound. She was trained well in that respect. It was him, she knew by the way his one foot dragged at the heel. Not just that, but she could feel his mood. Despair, sadness.. defeat.

Bella closed her eyes before she glanced up, hopeful and yet not. Would he be such a fool as to come back? Yes. He was never one to let anything hold him back.

As he approached, she didn't need to see it in his eyes to know why he was there. It wasn't to offer her the chance to go with him, or to tell her where he was going so that she could sneak away and join him.

Remy LeBeau was there to say goodbye.

"Please don't, Remy." she practically begged, her voice a trembled whisper.

[leblagueur]

She knew. Even without him saying a thing, she knew why he was here. Looking at her now, seeing the tears that still sparkled in her eyes even as they continued to trail down her cheeks, leaving her was the last thing he wanted to do. She had been a part of his life for so long, almost longer than he could remember... or maybe it was that life before her wasn’t worth remembering. Either way, when he left New Orleans tonight he knew it would not be as a whole man; his heart would forever remain.

“Y’ know I got to, Belle,” he said softly, falling to his knees before her. “Dere ain’t no other way.”

He could ask her to go with him, but then what? It would tear apart the shaky truce between their families and only more bloodshed and death would come of it. No, he had to do as he was ordered, no matter how much he hated and resented the decision. Someday, hopefully, he would understand and accept it.

“Y’ really did look beautiful t’day,” Remy said, his eyes on her hands, on the ring he had placed on her finger. “Still do.”

[killtosavealife]

As much as she wanted to disagree, tell him that they could find a way, it was perfectly impossible. To betray her family and leave with him meant they would always be on the run for the rest of their lives. And yet, it was the only way she wanted it. She loved him and would sacrifice everything for him.

But, she knew that's not what he wanted. He would rather die than see any harm come to her.

Bella shook her head before looking down at the flower arrangement in her hand. Her fingers gently touching the edge of a blushing rose.

"I don't feel it." she whispered.

[leblagueur]

So this was what heartbreak felt like. He had seen it before, caused it before, but this was the first time he had ever felt it. Was this how Genevieve had felt as she lay dying, having realised that he had never loved her and had only used her to get what he wanted? Sure, Remy had felt pain then but it had been guilt he had felt, regret for his actions and her loss. Genevieve had died because of him. He had broken her heart and let her die, and now he felt like a part of him was dying, but it was a death he would have to live with.

“Bella Donna Boudreaux,” he said softly, but he didn’t finish. That wasn’t exactly right anymore, now was it? Maybe they wouldn’t get a wedding night to consummate the marriage (not that they hadn’t done so before), and maybe her family would have it annulled the next day, but just for now, for this one night she was his wife. Reaching up, he gently tucked his finger under her chin, trying to get her to look at him. “Bella Donna LeBeau,” Remy said a bit stronger. “From de day I met you you was de most beautiful femme I ever saw, an’ dat ain’t changed in ten years, and it ain’t gonna change in a hundred more, y’ hear me?”

[killtosavealife]

He knew the right words to say, always did. It was apart of who he was. Remy LeBeau could charm any lady's diamond ring off her finger by simply saying bonjour. She'd seen him do it.

But, he never lied to her.

Bella's eyes lifted to meet his, and for a long moment she remained silent. A slender hand came to his face and touched his cheek softly.

"Only for you, Remy. I ain't lettin' no one else ever tell me that." she said, her voice carrying that promise.

[leblagueur]

Leaning into her touch, Remy held her gaze as she spoke, barely blinking, never wanting to look away. He would remember her like this forever, he knew, the saddest yet most beautiful bride there ever was. The worst part of all, though, was that even though he loved her, even though his heart broke too, there was another part of him that was not completely devastated and that though perhaps this could be good for both of them in the end. They were both so young, and had been pressured into the marriage before they were ready, before they had gotten to live their own lives. Maybe one day they would find their way back to one another, once they had really lived.

Still, that didn’t help him from feeling guilty as well as sad.

Letting his eyes drift closed, Remy leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Bella’s lips.